i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
