all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
