He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
