it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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