She went from zero to smokin in five shots
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
