Porn is love you can see.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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