whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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