you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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