need another drink. this is the easiest way
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize