My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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