Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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