you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
