It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
