I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
