is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
