I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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