I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
