i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
