How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
