You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
