The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
