Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
