he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
