Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
