You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize