I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
