So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
