She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
