if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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