i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
