he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
