Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she looked like the before picture.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
