i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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