I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize