At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Im part way to drunk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
