that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
