I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
