I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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