Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
