she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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