Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize