some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize