I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
