So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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