I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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