I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
