Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
