she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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