TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize