sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
