You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
