Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
