You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
