Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
