It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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