Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
