Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
