I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
