singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
