I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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