Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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