I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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