I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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