Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
